Toilet Paper

When I was younger and lived with my granny, I didn't have many chores at all! I couldn't wash the dishes because "I didn't make the water hot enough." I didn't wash/fold/iron clothes because my granny "didn't want me looking like a fool and making people think she let me walk out the house looking like a fool." I didn't clean the entire house because she kept the house clean and mopped every night. The only chores I had were to make my bed, clean my room, and clean that "Front bathroom."

The Front bathroom is the one I used. Also, the one the guest's use. We only had two bathrooms, one which was in the master bedroom, so I'm not sure why it had to be called the "front bathroom." Maybe because it was across from the "front bedroom." Anyways.....I divert.

So I clean the front bathroom every week. Everything must be inspected by inspector granny before it is deemed reasonable. Even the Toilet Paper! (Which is the reason for writing this blog)

So every time i changed a roll, granny would always come in and check it and say....."You put it on backwards!!" This made me sooo angry! Even when I took the roll off, I still couldn't figure out which way was backwards! I thought she was a nut! I would sit on the toliet and fuss to myself about what kind of idiot thinks the toliet paper is on wrong. It comes out no matter which way you put it. Both ways looked exactly the same to me! I could not figure it out!

One day, after moving into my own home, I went to pull the toliet paper, and low and behold......It was on BACKWARDS! I thought.....something is wrong with this toliet paper. Its just not working right! I thought...."Who put this toilet paper on!" "Its backwards!" Then I laughed to myself and say....granny.....not taking any wooden nickles today. :-)

So in summary, I shall tell you how to properly assemble the toilet paper. The correct way, which I could never figure out, is to have the toilet paper rolling off the top. Not from underneath. When the paper comes from the top, it is easier to tear using one hand. You also do not waste much paper this way. Hope this helps! I was sure glad to solve this mystery for myself.

Ciao for now!

Funny Looking

Written by: Leah & LaToya

Here's my public service announcement to all you funny looking people out there. Not sure if you're funny looking? What exactly is funny looking you ask? Well, funny looking is when you are not fat, but you have two stomachs. You aren't tall, you aren't short, but no one knows if you are really average height because of your terrible posture. You aren't ugly, but you aren't cute. You're probably around a 5 on the 1-10 scale. We really don't know what to call you, cause you are just "Funny Looking".

So if you decided you might be funny looking, or you just realized you know someone who IS funny looking. I have put together a list of things a funny looking person should be aware of below. If you have a funny looking friend, be nice, and don't fool them by doing any of the things below.

Here we go!

1) If you are funny looking, don't wear a funny looking shirt. This just increases your funny-looking-ness. If your friend is funny looking, don't encourage them to buy that funny looking shirt. It may look nice on you, but THEY're the funny looking one!

2) If you're funny looking, try to avoid being the center of attention at all costs. It's hard enough for us to ignore you because you're already funny looking. Please don't draw any added attention to your funny-looking-ness. If you have a funny looking friend. Try to avoid putting them in situations where they will draw more attention to their funny-looking-ness. (i.e. karoake, talent contests, etc.)

3) If you're funny looking, please comb your hair. This should be done at least twice daily by exceptionally funny looking people. It's one of the only defenses in the war against funny-looking-ness.

4) If you're funny looking, don't be loud. It's a bad combo.

5) If you're funny looking, you MUST have a good sense of humor. If you weren't born with it, enroll in some comedy classes or something. Cause without sense of humor, you'll just be funny looking the rest of your life.

6) If you're funny looking, please don't ask others how you look. It just puts us all in an awkward situation.

7) If you're funny looking, don't procreate. The last thing we need in this time of economic turmoil is more funny looking babies using up all our govt. money.Lastly, if you are funny looking, don't take no wodden nickels from people telling you that you AIN'T. You know the truth

BYE!

See more of LaToya's thoughts at http://aintnobodycalledmeandtoldmenothing.blogspot.com/